I am a single woman, without children. Have I chosen motherhood, or not? Have I chosen singlehood, or not? I leave these both as open-ended questions, because I don’t have the answers to these, despite years of soul searching and wondering and allowing my heart to bend in all kinds of directions. I don’t think my life is defined as one or the other. And I don’t think this is an easy choice, nor is it really a choice at all, it simply is.
I have many children in my life who I love dearly, two nieces who are my shining stars, close friends who are parents who I try my best to join and accompany through life, a doula life that allows me to journey with women who are pregnant, giving birth, or in the 4th trimester, and I am also most recently, a guest facilitator in an amazing mom’s retreat called the “Body, Mind & Soul Online Retreat for Mamas.” So many moms are gathering together, and I get to be with them, finding out together how we can draw ourselves towards wellness, happiness, balance, and self-discovery. What an honour. All of these are rewarding and fulfilling places to be.
I am single AND there are many ways in which I am called into motherhood and to journey with those in motherhood. Motherhood is much bigger and better and deeper than only having children to call my own. A complex duality and overlap of identities, I am in the “in between” motherhood and not motherhood, and with that, the in-between of joy and sorrow and wonder and learning and healing. I think I will camp out here for as long as this journey chooses to takes me along.
I am grateful for this space and hope you will follow along with my stories. I want to learn from you and cannot wait to meet you here. Your own stories shape me, and the space you give for my stories lifts me up. This sacred space we hold together is not only for singles or childless, nor only for mothers, and instead, for all of us together, bringing all that we know and love and the relationships we nourish with one another, and journeying through this thing we call life.
Where are you in this journey? I would love to hear. Feel free to comment below, or contact me to share more of your story under the Connect heading in the menu bar above.
I’ve been there. It’s not easy. I know this. And you are not alone.